The REAL Daily Mail Churnalism Generator

Crispian Jago has written a thorough and exhaustive exposé on the state of science journalism as a result of the Goldacre V Drayson debate. HOWEVER I can EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL that the Daily Mail doesn't use hi-tech applications when determining it's science output. As any one with even a MODICUM of sense knows, Windows was created by illegal immigrants as a way to allow child yobs to upload happy slapping videos to youtube for paedophiles to watch. The Daily Mail wouldn't get caught dead using one to deduce the exciting breakthroughs of the day.

Instead I can exclusively reveal THIS is how the Daily Mail investigates it's stories with The Patented Skeptobot Churnalism Generator.

AKA Cause and Effect Dice!

Whats not well know is that in 1998 teh Daily Mail had to invest in geeky D10 dice in an increasingly competitive market.

Anyhow, now that

The Cause Dice

The Effect Dice

An aside, I actually made these yonks ago - before I burnt the hell out of my leg - but Crispians excellent post reminded me about them. Let me know if anyone makes a pair.

Oh and there shouldn't be any issue with the images showing up now because... well maybe you can work it out?


15 comments:

Crispian Jago said...

Sir, Are you calling me a liar?

Bill said...

Look I'm not saying your wrong I'm just saying we should teach the controversy. Both sides of this issue have to be given equal time in fair reporting.

Anonymous said...

I used to work for the Daily Mail and that is actually what they do... They would usually kill you if they thought you had this information though! ;-)

Anonymous said...

There is an actual Daily Mail story generator based on similar principles.

WILL THE METRIC SYSTEM SCROUNGE OFF THE QUEEN?

The Mail has learned that miners, bent on revenge are responsible for eating babies.

Has the world gone mad? Miners, bent on revenge are eating babies with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn't the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Nick Clegg, who said "our prisons are like holiday camps."

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