You might want to be sitting down for this as it is pretty exciting, a flyer just came through my door from Professor Carmella! Woohoo! What wonders await us dear readers!? Follow me into the exciting world of Professor Carmella...
First there is an awesome palm reading guide - FOR FREE!
Did you know that each finger print on your grubby heathen hands represents 'orator', 'optimist' 'impulsive', 'clergy' and 'will'? Well now you do! The bottom part of your middle finger? That's agriculture. Obviously. It all makes so much sense now, thanks to the wonderful Professor Carmella! But wait there is more...
Professor Carmella has their own Professor Psychic Studio! They are superior to all psychics! Hell, Professor Carmella can destroy witchcraft. Not mitigate. Not undo. DESTROY. Prof Carm is awesome.
And more importantly 100% RESULTS GUARANTEED!
I've hidden the phone numbers out of a sense of decency. But what should I do readers? On one hand I think it's harmless. On the other hand I'm pretty worried that someone in my neighbourhood helps people troubled by witchcraft and claims to cure illness. I'm very tempted to them ring up...