CERN has impeccable comedic taste: Chris Morris, Kevin Eldon and Simon Munnary

So the people at CERN have been inviting the best comedians in the UK to come and have a look around. The ingenious bastards. How did I miss this? I always get a little giddy when I see my interests collide (geddit?).

You can listen to Chris "Brass Eye" Morris talking about THE HIGGS FUCKING BOSON here. Look I've a picture for your unbelieving eyes:

Image Hosted by

How awesome is that? Answer: very awesome.

But there's more! They've also had the excellent Simon Munnary and Kevin Eldon round too. Listen to the podcast here and watch them potter around below:

There is a lot to be said for this kind of public outreach especially when it's via such excellent, excellent people. I would go as far as to say that there is a strong and unexplored link between alternative British comedy  and the appreciation of science. A link that has yet to be utilised...

And if by some ridiculous chance you don't know who these comedians I'm talking about are, then you sicken me. Make me like you again by buying Chris Morris' Brass Eye - a massively important satire on TV news. But not until you've got the wonderful Simon Munnary's 'Hello' an indie produced Stand Up DVD of outstanding quality from the absolute legends that are Go Faster Stripe. I love GFS, they are doing a massively important job at preserving Stand Up thats too important and intelligent and niche to be picked up by mainstream media. And whilst I'm sure you recognise The Actor Kevin Eldon from every good comedy show of the last two decades (Jam, Spaced, Fist of Fun, This Morning With Richard Not Judy & Brass Eye are but a tiny selection of his work) I'm doubting you will have listened to his brilliant audio monologues SPEAKERS. Available to download free from Resonance FM.


JTankers said... will pay $500.00 US to the best proposal that can reasonably prove 5% or less Risk of Planetary destruction from Micro Black Holes.

The contest will conclude in a vote by site visitors on all reasonable proofs received, all proofs will be published and the contest will end not sooner than May 20th. (LHCConcerns will make the final call on best proposal that reasonably proves 5% or lower risk from micro black holes being created by the Large Hadron Collider).

You may prove that ANY ONE of the following or provide any other reasonable Proof or method to prevent Micro Black Holes from being created by the Large Hadron Collider or prove that they are harmless!

1. The Large Hadron Collider will not make micro black holes.
2. Micro black holes created will be sent safely into space.
3. Micro black holes will evaporate.
4. Micro black holes will take more than 2 billion years to accrete the Earth. (If you can only prove a lesser time frame, then the prize will be reduced proportionately...)
5. Any form of cosmic ray argument that proves 5% risk or lower.
6. Find a way to make the Large Hadron Collider safe from creating micro black holes (we already requested different speed collissions or different mass collisions, LSAG told us it was not possible, they already thought of it).

It is harder than it looks, the LHC Safety Assessment Group (LSAG) could not produce a safety report... (CERN and LSAG are still using the 1999 RHIC safety report that does not even address what might happen if micro black holes were created, because they did not know that it was possible at that time. We are also being generous on the 2 billion years, we want to be reasonable)


Anonymous said...


Once again, when the LHC turns on and you are proven to be a raving loon, PLEASE spend as much time and energy on APOLOGISING for being WRONG as you are in spamming every freakin' site that mentions the LHC with irrational fear and pseudoscience.


JTankers said...

And when the first stable micro black hole is created and we are all trying to determine how accurate Dr. Rossler's 50 month Earth Accretion estimates might be.

It will also be a time when professional physicists who are now engaging in a campaign of deception may be held legally accountable for their actions.

(I say the first micro black hole above, hoping that we did not already create one in March of 2005 in the RHIC Bose-Nova implosion where thousands of atoms could not be accounted for... Hoping that the unpresidented rise in World Wide Earth quakes is just a coincidence. That is what I believe, just a coincidence, but if two months from now the number of Earthquakes is 50% higher than the last two months, then I will not be so sure...)

Anonymous said...

Why you believe a retired biochemist rather than the active research physicists is beyond me.

It's kind of like you choosing to be operated on by a retired butcher rather than a working surgeon because, at some level, their skills seem similar. (Sorry to any biochemists for the clunky analogy).

You, dear sir, are a mentalist.

Bill said...

Oh wow! JTankers is awesome. I'm all for an open mind mate so kudos to you for that.

Micro black holes: Not a Risk.
By Lave Station aged 26 & 1/4.

The LHC will reach energies of collision energies of 0.0000007 Joules. The most energetic cosmic ray seen had a energy of 48J.

At least 15 more this energetic have been seen in the last 40 years. Despite this being a massive underestimate (as area of earth >> area of cr detectors) lets be conservative and assume 10 UHECRs per 50 years. That means about 920 million micro black opportunities have presented themselves in the last 4.6 billion years.

As none of those have destroyed the earth, or produced detectable events, the odds of the LHC destroying the earth are less than 5%.

This assumes the CR energy spectrum is constant over long periods - but even if you just consider the last million years, we are fine.

Please paypal my $500 bucks to skeptobot who is at the british version of yahoo.


Bill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill said...

Oh, I meant that post to read "I'm all for an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out"

Also: Hell Gia, thanks! It's an honour to have you post here.

Anonymous said...


I've been following the links into CERN Podcast and was dismayed to find 'Crazy JTankers' here. *sigh* I had to post...

Of course, in some respect everyone is wasting their breath on talking to these people cos their tiny, whacked-out minds seem to be made up. Of course, for anyone who stumbles upon their ravings and DOESN'T understand what is going on at CERN, it could seem like 'Crazy JTankers' (I think we should only ever refer to him as that) is for real (rather than a raving loon).

And thanks for the 'impeccable comedic taste' compliment. ;)

JTankers said...

Your proposals need to be posted at LHCConcerns and voted on. Good Luck!

JTankers said...

Gia says: "Why you believe a retired biochemist rather than the active research physicists is beyond me."

Interesting that similar was said of Albert Einstein when he invented relativity theory. "He is just a grad student". Yes but he was correct, and CERN has failed to prove reasonable safety. No report at all. Just the 1999 RHIC safety study that did not address the safety of micro black hole creation at all, because at that time micro black hole creation was thought to be impossible. We all know that is no longer what is believed. To create conditions believed to create micro black holes that may be captured by Earth at this time with no safety study is criminal negligence. We may not have a future or an Earth, but there will be accountability.

Two of Prof. Rössler’s papers have been posted (one after the other in the same PDF) at: The first suggests a mechanism for non-linearity in mini black hole accretion. This disputes the idea that it will take a very long time for a mini black hole to accrete the earth. Some of Professor Rössler’s calculations about the growth of black holes in the earth will soon be published, possibly in the journal "Chaos, Solutions and Fractals" I believe.

Dr. Prof. Otto E. Rössler currently works at the University of Tuebingen in Germany. He specializes on theoretical biology, theoretical physics, mathematic, philosophy and nature sciences. These areas is what he is talking about. AND he has a right to do so and to be listened too. As a 'chaos scientist' my understanding is that because interdisciplinary know-how is required, his expertise field is quite wide. He also strikes me as a scientist who needs to see the large picture. And yes, he would be allowed in court on the LHC subject. Heard somebody in a post say they would not allow him in court because he is not a subject matter expert. This is complete rubbish and the person who posted this knows it.

Prof. Otto E. Rössler sais that there is a 50% chance that a real black hole gets created at the LHC, that there are then 50 months left for our Earth.

Otto E. Rössler (b. in Berlin, Germany, May 20, 1940) became an amateur radio operator (DL 9KF) at the age of 17. He finished his medical studies with an immunological dissertation in Tubingen in 1966. Dr. Rössler then began as a postdoctoral fellow at the Max Planck Institute for Behavioral Physiology in Bavaria. In 1969, he won a visiting appointment at the Center for Theoretical Biology at SUNY-Buffalo. In 1970-73, he got a habilitation from the DFG. In 1976, he became a tenured University Docent. In 1979, he became Professor for Theoretical Biochemistry at the University of Tübingen. In 1994, he became Professor of Chemistry by decree.

In 1975, Art Winfree initiated him into chaos. One year later he published his paper on the "simplest" chaotic attractor (as Ed Lorenz later put it). Three years after, hyperchaos followed, which was equally simple. He is a member of the Santa Fe Institute and a fellow of the International Institute for Advanced Studies in Systems Research and Cybernetics. In 2003, he received the Chaos Award of the University of Liège and in 2003 the René Descartes Award. In 1999 he obtained a honorary doctorate from the International Institute for Advanced Studies in Systems Research and Cybernetics.

Throughout his career Dr. Rössler has authored around 500 scientific papers in fields as wide-ranging as Biogenesis, deductive biology, origin of language, differentiable automata, bacterial brain, brain equations, chaotic attractors, dripping faucet, heart chaos (with Reimara Rössler), hyperchaos, nowhere-differentiable attractors (with Jack Hudson and Ichiro Tsuda), flare attractors, endophysics, micro relativity, Platonic computers, micro constructivism, recursive evolution, limitology, interface theory, artificial universes, the hypertext encyclopedia, Lampsacus hometown of all persons, blind-sight experiments in physics, world-change technology. He wrote four books: Encounter with Chaos (1992), Endophysics: The world As an Interface (1992), Jonas World - The Thinking of Child (1994, in German), and The Flaming Sword (1996 in German), as well as the CD Descartes' Traum (in German).

Bill said...

I know you are using this site as a platform to promote your views 'Crazy' JTankers, and I'm fine with that (as long as it stays located in appropriate threads).

But I feel I should let you know that I have an audience with an intelligence far higher than the base drivel I put out might indicate.

As such you'll have a hard battle to win over minds.

JTankers said...

Thank you for your creative title.

Perhaps your sanity could help me understand why so few physicists appear to recognize that not only was micro black hole creation empirically shown to be possible in the March 2005 RHIC bosenova implosion, but the same incident also gave strong evidence that Hawking Radiation should have been but was not observed?

Lets assume the worst, then what evidence if any do we have that stable micro black hole growth would not be experiential?

The only peer reviewed math I have access to shows exponential growth from Professor Rossler.

So we created a Bose-Einstein condensate, a stable "proto-Black hole" in 1999. Thousands of atoms are unaccounted for, not in the cold matter, not in the explosion cloud.

I try to conceive of why I should not believe that this exotic matter might not be 38 months into an exponential growth cycle now...
Any unusual earthquake activity?

My formal physics training may be limited compared to yours, but I can on occasion ace a standard IQ test. I think the Large Hadron Collider is a species IQ test... Do you turn it on or not...

JTankers said...

...sorry, "The RHIC fireball as a dual black hole", March 2005... not 1999 (that was the year of the RHIC safety study that concluded no possibility of creating such exotic matter in any conceivable collider... What a difference 9 years makes...)

We argue that the fireball observed at RHIC is (the analog of) a dual black hole.

QUOTE: "In conclusion, we have seen that the observed RHIC fireball is just (the pion analog of) a gravity dual black hole. We have seen that the unknown CGC state at the middle of the fireball is the interior of the black hole, and particles inside it interact with a Newtonian potential. The horizon of the black hole is the limiting (“freeze-out”) surface of the pion field soliton, which emits radiation at a temperature given by (if the nonperturbative constant
a=1) (20), very close to the experimental value of 176 MeV [14, 15]. Most likely there will be no singularity for this black hole."

"emits radiation"? Really, then where did the thousands of atom go? May someone has a negative energy explanation... LOL

Anonymous said...

Dear 'Crazy' JTankers,

I got to this:"AND he has a right to do so and to be listened too." and had to stop. No one has a *right* to be listened to. Sure, people have the right to think or, in most cases, say what they want, but no one else on this planet should be compelled to listen to anyone.

I have the right to say that the LHC may produce little pink fairies at the end of my garden (and, you know what, there's a chance that may happen FOR REAL!!!!!!)... but that doesn't mean I have the right to demand an audience.

Anonymous said...

"...March of 2005 in the RHIC Bose-Nova implosion..."

The Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider Bossa-Nova Implosion would be a totally incredible name for a band.

Anonymous said...

What a great web log. I spend hours on the net reading blogs, about tons of various subjects. I have to first of all give praise to whoever created your theme and second of all to you for writing what i can only describe as an fabulous article. I honestly believe there is a skill to writing articles that only very few posses and honestly you got it. The combining of demonstrative and upper-class content is by all odds super rare with the astronomic amount of blogs on the cyberspace.

Unknown said...

new orleans saints jerseys
ralph lauren uk
nike air max uk
toms shoes
soccer jerseys
michael kors handbags
coach outlet canada
vans shoes
cheap mlb jerseys
michael kors uk
real madrid jersey
swarovski jewelry
atlanta falcons jersey
tory burch outlet online
louis vuitton uk
dallas cowboys jersey
the north face clearance
cheap nike shoes
fred perry sale
marc jacobs outlet
true religion jeans
true religion jeans
ray ban sunglasses
burberry outlet online,
mcm bags
burberry outlet
oakley sunglasses
ray ban wayfarer
true religion jeans,
vibram fivefingers
lacoste polo shirts
minnesota vikings jerseys
nike free 5.0
new york giants jerseys
kate spade outlet
true religion outlet,
dansko outlet
cheap jordans
kate spade outlet
herve leger

chenlina said...

giuseppe zanotti
coach outlet store
running shoes
true religion jeans outlet
hollister uk
jordan 11s
the north face outlet
ugg boots
coach outlet
replica rolex watches
michael kors outlet
cheap air max
oakley sunglasses
hermes birkin
uggs clearance
canada goose jackets
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton outlet
abercrombie and fitch
michael kors uk
cheap oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
louis vuitton handbags
canada goose outlet online
uggs boots
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton handbags
ugg outlet
instyler max
kevin durant basketball shoes
swarovski outlet
michael kors handbags
prada handbags
hollister co,hollister jeans,,hollister ca
michael kors outlet
canada goose jackets
tory burch sale
air jordans
uggs on sale

John said...

omega seamaster
yeezy boost 350 white
the north face outlet
nike air max
fitflops sale clearance
cheap oakley sunglasses
prada outlet
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
nike huarache black
coach outlet online
canada goose jackets
lacoste outlet
buy red bottoms
true religion uk
ray ban sunglasses
fitflop uk
versace sunglasses
hollister kids
birkenstock uk
discount oakley sunglasses
polo ralph lauren outlet online
nike air max
michael kors outlet clearance
reebok shoes
nike free runs
kate spade bags
ugg outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
running shoes
converse shoes
hermes belt
adidas shoes uk
louis vuitton pas cher
birkenstock shoes
adidas superstar
coach outlet store
kate spade outlet
ralph lauren pas cher

Unknown said...

cheap ray bans
nike air huarache
cheap basketball shoes
michael kors handbags
michael kors handbags wholesale
nike trainers uk
michael kors outlet
toms shoes
nike tn pas cher
ed hardy outlet

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

This Fan Banner for the New Orleans Saint Fan is a great way to show the neighbors who you're rooting for on gameday! This pleated fan bunting is made of 100% nylon, measures a 27"x57" in size, and has three metal grommets along the top header for easy hanging. The NFL team colored panels are ruffled and the insignias are embroidered into our New Orleans Saint Fan Banner which results in a durable and quality divided flags nhl
nfl house flagsBills stars and stripes flags
Dallas Cowboys house flags

Karen said...

La nuova Lazio 16-17 terzo maglie presenta un design pulito. Realizzato da Macron e non con qualsiasi sponsor camicia, la nuova terza maglia Lazio è stato presentato oggi e si unisce al nuovo maglia di casa Lazio 2016-17, pubblicato all’inizio di questo mese.poco prezzo
magliette calcio comprar Maglia Atletico Madrid
Maglia Barcelona 2017 vendita

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

coach canada
ralph lauren outlet
pandora charms
pandora jewelry outlet
michael kors handbags
nike cortez
mulberry purse
nike shoes for men
cheap uggs

Hermawan Alfaqih said...

I am very grateful for having permitted to endorse at this place. I feel very honored to give a little noise to progress together. Hopefully this decision is right and to those who elected mandate hopefully can run with good, honest and discreet. Create for some people but it will give a very remarkable effect on everyone. All will be positive when carrying out the mandate properly. In accordance with the statutory provisions in force. obat lipoma

Unknown said...

Our Green Bay Packers Banner Flag measures 28x40 inches, is constructed of 2-ply 100% polyester, and provides a top sleeve for hanging vertically from a wood flagpole. The Green Bay Packers Banner Flag is high quality dye sublimated with the NFL Packers logo as shown. NFL Banners Flags are a perfect way to show neighbors your NFL team allegiance by flying from your front porch, patio, or deck.Our NFL Banner Flags are 2-ply, double-sided, and viewable and readable correctly on both sides.These flags are made of a premium polyester and made in the USA.Fly your Green Bay Packers Banner Flag with our 5' wood flagpole and adjustable flag divided flags nhl
nfl house flagsPanthers stars and stripes flags
Chicago Bears house flags

Unknown said...

I can feel that the articles contained in this blog is so interesting. I also get a variety informasin, thanks.
obat pereda nyeri persendian tradisional

Unknown said...

I read this post totally. I feel very good about this post because this post is very interesting and informative. Today I learned a lot from your website. thank you
Thank you for sharing the information very useful. Godaddy Coupon Codes

raybanoutlet001 said...

longchamp outlet
ugg boots
versace jeans
supra sneakers
michael kors purses
ugg boots
ugg boots
colts jerseys
ugg boots
ugg boots

Unknown said...


basketballl shoes
moncler outlet
moncler jacket
adidas nmd
birken stock
ugg boots clearance
moncler outlet
nike clothing
ralph lauren

Andrew123 said...

I enjoyed over read your blog post. Your blog has nice information, I got good ideas from this amazing blog. I am always searching like this type of blog post. I hope I will see again VPS Hosting Service

Sharon Wood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nila said...


Rajesh said...

With our Escorts in Gurgaonand escorts services, you may really improve stage of fun by its quality services different. Sure! This assists its people to victory over all the gloom and depressive disorders from your lifestyle and appeases your delicate wishes specifically.So, you may do a trip at web page and can get your wish suggested with an outstanding woman escort. Check our other services also...
Escorts in Gurgaon
Escorts in Gurgaon
Escorts in Gurgaon
Escorts in Gurgaon
Escorts in Gurgaon

Cindypagita said...



bobbyrhodes said...

I am often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has really peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new information.
Click Here
Visit Web

Asian Embeds Eng Sub said...

خدمات منزلية said...

مهندس افران
عزل الاسطح
مكافحة الحشرات